It’s chapter 8 and I see the appeal of Haruki Murakami. Beyond plot, it’s the way he writes characters. They feel raw, a fictional rendering of grief and despair.

Watanabe, who I refer to as Watanuki, has been invited to a celebratory dinner with his friend Nagasawa and his girlfriend Hatsumi. The conversation moves between love and understanding. Murakami depicts his characters through dialogue and their thoughts without making it obvious. Nagasawa is a narcissist without him or any other character saying so. This builds depth without being forceful, especially when Nagasawa talks about his relationship with Hatsumi or lays out his system at dinner.

“You just don’t understand a man’s sexual needs” said Nasagawa to Hatsumi. “Look at me for example I’ve been with you for three years, and I’ve slept with plenty of women in that time. But I don’t remember a thing about them. I don’t know their names, I don’t remember their faces. I slept with each of them exactly once. Meet ’em, do it, so long. That’s it. What’s wrong with that?”

Nagasawa gives Hatsumi a choice: either accept that she’s ignorant or accept that he’s cruel. At first it looks like he’s provoking her, creating it happens, setting the terms so she can’t win. conflict. He’s not. He’s ending any conflict before it happens, setting the terms so she can’t win.

Murakami doesn’t give Nagasawa a monologue to explain his narcissism. Instead, he gives him a case, a situation to present it. Murakami painfully creates an uncomfortable scene that reveals a distorted glimpse of what Watanuki’s and Naoko’s relationship could become.

Watanuki would like to think this is all directed at Hatsumi, but it’s not true. Murakami has cleverly orchestrated the dinner around him. The conversation is centered on him even when he isn’t speaking.

Nagasawa’s words are inclusive to both him and Watanuki, using “we” when he explains his ideals. Watanuki is not simply an audience to Nagasawa’s ways; he’s evidence. This serves as a turning point for Watanuki to recognize the similarities he’s blindly ignored and see who Nagasawa truly is, forcing a point of change.

The System

So how does Hatsumi respond? Given the choices, she decides to accept that he is cruel.

“What I can’t stand is that arrogance of yours”, said Hatsumi in a soft voice. “Whether you sleep with other women or not is besides the point”

The tone takes a huge leap from subtle to direct. For me, it felt like a pinnacle point for Hatsumi, no longer blindly ignoring Nagasawa’s lifestyle and him. It begins to take form into a discussion of why.

That change pushes the conversation forward, allowing Murakami to deepen Nagasawa’s views that revolve around a self-absorbed philosophy, but also continue to reinforce the similarity between him and Watanuki.

But it’s not a question of whether or not you’re enough for me. I can only live with that hunger. That’s the kind of man I am. That’s what makes me me.

“We’re a lot alike, though, Watanabe and me,’ said Nagasawa. “Neither of us is interested, essentially, in anything but ourselves. OK, so I’m arrogant and he’s not, but neither of us is able to feel any interest in anything other than what we ourselves think or feel or do. That’s why we can think about things in a way that’s totally divorced from anybody else. That’s what I like about him. The only difference is that he hasn’t realized this about himself, and so he hesitates and feels hurt.”

Nagasawa isn’t justifying his actions, he’s explaining them. He knows they can hurt Hatsumi, but he doesn’t see that as his problem. You see this ideology again when Watanuki asks what will happen to her once Nagasawa leaves to study abroad. Nagasawa’s answer is simple: “That’s her problem.” Nagasawa extends his explanation to Watanuki as an example, not just to Hatsumi, but to Watanuki as a nod to knowing him better than he does.

You don’t get it, do you? Person A understands Person B because the time is right for that to happen, not because Person B wants to be understood by Person A.”

“So is it a mistake for me to feel that I want to be understood by someone – by you, for example?”

“No, it’s not a mistake,” answered Nagasawa. “Most people would call that love, if you think you want tounderstand me. My system for living is way differentfrom other people’s systems for living.”

“So what you’re saying is you’re not in love with me, is that it?”

“Well, my system and your – “

“To hell with your fucking system!” Hatsumi shouted. That was the first and last time I ever heard her shout.

Now for my favorite line: Nagasawa casts himself as Person A and Watanuki as Person B. The logic he’s describing suggests that understanding is one-sided and timed. We can’t choose who understands us.

Prior to this, Nagasawa tells Hatsumi that “Where Watanabe and I are alike is, we don’t give a shit if nobody understands us,” telling us a narrative that he’s superior and doesn’t need others. Although Watanuki retaliates, he’s captured in a mirroring between him and Nagasawa, with Nagasawa telling him that he is understood by him whether he wanted it or not.